Here are some frequently asked questions that might help you:

What’s a bat mitzvah?

A bat mitzvah is a Jewish ceremony where a child of 13 years becomes a Jewish adult and counts as an adult for Jewish rituals. As part of that they do a ton of learning to be able to lead a Jewish shabbat service (almost entirely in Hebrew) and be able to read and chant the Torah (bible) from a scroll in Hebrew without vowels. This is very difficult to do, and most Jews cannot do it. It represents a level of academic effort equal to a masters degree (and we ask our kids to do it). In addition they are asked to give a drash (a talk interpreting the Torah) which requires understanding their Torah parsha (portion) along with traditional and modern interpretations of that parsha in order to form their own opinions about how it relates to today.

Because of the significance of the event and the amount of work the bat mitzvah student has put in, this is a serious event. It can also feel like a really long event, even for those who read Hebrew.

What is a Jewish Shabbat (sabbath) service like?

Shabbat starts at sundown on Friday and runs until sundown on Sat. Services on Friday night are typically about an hour. We use a prayer book that has Hebrew, English translations, and transliterated Hebrew. The service is almost entirely in Hebrew, with most prayers sung. (You are welcome to sing along, even if you don’t know the words). We have certain prayers that we ask people to stand for, but only if you are able.

Saturday morning services run 2-3 hours, and cover morning prayers, a Torah service (reading from the Torah and Haftorah), and closing prayers which are very similar to the Friday night service. Most of this is in Hebrew and is sung.

During the Torah service on Saturday morning the Torah is pulled out of the ark on the bimah (podium) and marched around the sanctuary before being brought back up to the bimah to be read. You’ll see Jews touching the Torah cover with a book or tallit (prayer shawl) strings and kissing it as a form of respect. Then some Jewish adults will be called up to participate in reading the Torah by witnessing a reader chant the Torah. Being called up for an aliah (reading of a Torah portion) is a high honor and requires the person getting the aliah to chant the prayer in Hebrew before and after reading the Torah. Elona will be one of the Torah readers and will get an aliah. As she reads the Torah she’ll have the challenge of reading ancient Hebrew, but without vowels, and using a standardized tune. You can follow along with the Torah portion and haftorah (prophets) portion in Hebrew or English in the books in the sanctuary (on the bookshelves on the right hand side of the room).

Before being returned to the ark the Torah is lifted and shown to the audience (called hagbah), dressed (called gallilah), and then marched around again. It is very bad luck (requiring daylight fasting for 40 days) to drop a Torah, so the process of lifting it is tricky.

During a bat mitzvah some synagogues have a tradition of showering the bat mitzvah child with candy as a sign of joy and pleasantness. This is an opportunity to loft some gummy candy. If you are lobbing it at someone, you’re doing it wrong. Stop. Afterward kids at the service are welcome to gather the candy for themselves while the congregants sing “Mazel Tov v’ Simmen Tov”. Mazel tov means congratulations.

If I don’t speak Hebrew, will I understand what’s going on?

The prayer book has everything translated and the rabbi will provide page numbers and additional guidance on context of the things we’ll be doing. Pretty much everything is sung, and you’re welcome to sit back and listen or try to sing along. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask after the service. Asking questions and learning are highly respected values in Judaism.

You are also always welcome to explore the prayer book or khumash (5 books of the torah in book form—the ones at this synagogue have a tree on the cover). The khumash is a book that contains all the sections of the Torah (old testament) in Hebrew and English plus extensive footnotes of interpretations of the sections throughout the ages, which can be fairly interesting. Because Jews don’t use the Torah in a literal fashion, but rather try to interpret the meaning behind it, the interpretation can hold as much value as the Torah itself.

Do I need to wear a kipa/yarmulke/hat?

It is customary and a sign of respect for men to wear a kipa (yarmulke) or other hat or head covering in a synagogue. Now that women have equal rights and participation, it is common (but not required) for women to wear a head covering as well. A kipa or yarmulke is required if you’ll be up on the bimah for an aliah (reading of the Torah), regardless of gender.

Tallit (prayer shawls) are only worn by Jewish adults.

What happens after the service?

Bagels…and other yummy things. Services are traditionally followed by food. After a Friday service there will be an oneg, or dessert of challah, grape juice, and cookies. After a Saturday morning service a brunch is typically served. So plan to stick around for the food (at least an hour, if not more). Hanging out and chatting for hours is a thing. We’ll have bagels and other breakfast options. No one leaves until the food is gone (yes, please take extra bagels home).

Who can attend the bat mitzvah service?

The service is open to anyone, no invites required. It will also be livestreamed on Zoom. Masks are recommended given the number of people who will be in a small space.

Can I participate by Zoom instead of in person?

Yes, the service will be broadcast via Zoom. Use the contact link at least 1 week prior, and we’ll send you the Zoom link.

If you find yourself sick on the day of the Bat Mitzvah, we welcome you to join by Zoom. No one likes being or getting sick at a service.

Is there a party?

There will be a party on the evening after the bat mitzvah, and it will be by invitation only. We do not have a time or venue picked out at this time, nor invites sent out.

If I go to a Jewish service, will I become Jewish?

No. To be a Jew you either have a Jewish parent or have chosen to convert. Jews banned proselytization 2000 years ago, so you will never be asked to become Jewish. The process of choosing to become a Jew is long and involved, and essentially requires a masters degree worth of educational work.

Are children welcome?

Yes. Children and babies are always welcome in a Jewish service, and kid noise is totally expected. You are also welcome to wander the synagogue, sit in the lounge, or go to an open classroom to play. If you go outside, you may need to be buzzed back into the synagogue.

Why are people showing up late?

Timeliness is not a big Jewish value, with the exception of some groups from Germany. There are many jokes about “Jewish Standard Time” being 30 mins late. It’s common to see people wander in as the service progresses, often with people coming for the Torah service (the 2nd half).

Actual times are shown and Sigel time has not been added to the schedule. So you’ll have to adjust your time to not miss the event. The Torah service starts around 10am.

Temple Sinai tends to fill up seats early, so it’s best to aim for the starting time.

Can we take photos?

Photos are NOT to be taken at the synagogue on the sabbath (Friday night and Saturday during the day). You are welcome to take photos at any other events. However, we firmly request that no one share photos of our children on social media sites without our prior approval.

A family photo shoot may be scheduled for sometime on Friday afternoon, for folks who are already in town.